HOLLYWOOD — God Bless America, and how’s everybody?


Oprah Winfrey’s acceptance speech at the Golden Globes had Hollywood demanding that she run for president against President Trump in three years. The possibility has Netflix executives scratching their heads. If Oprah succeeds Donald Trump as president, then Black is the New Orange.


Hollywood Democrats added Oprah to the presidential field that includes Hillary, Liz Warren and Terry McAuliffe. One young Democrat griped Democrats would be better off if Baby Boomers would go away. I love the Millennials for their swagger, always walking around like they rent the place.


Oprah Winfrey’s speech at the Golden Globes Sunday caused her millions of shares of Weight Watchers stock to soar 13 percent on Monday. The company’s windfall was short-lived. The next day, winter rainstorms arrived in Los Angeles and everybody in the hills was back on Swim Fast.


Los Angeles endured heavy rainstorms this week that exacerbated a deadly influenza epidemic now ravaging the West Coast. It’s emptied the pharmacy shelves. The medicine shortage in L.A. is so bad that it’s got actresses willing to watch Harvey Weinstein shower in exchange for some Tami-Flu.


President Trump hosted a bipartisan meeting of lawmakers in the White House Tuesday and allowed live TV cameras to cover most of the meeting. Trump was intelligent, calm, assured and in control and effective. CNN suspects collusion between Trump and the makers of anti-psychotic drugs.


President Trump met House and Senate leaders to seek out a compromise on an immigration bill at the White House Tuesday. Last week he tweeted the Hispanics are going to fall in love with him. They might fall in love with Trump when he explains that a wall will keep their relatives from visiting.


The Department of Justice was reported Thursday preparing to re-open the investigation into the Hillary Clinton e-mail scandal that the FBI may have papered over. Last week a fire broke out at Bill and Hillary’s house in Chappaqua, but thankfully no one was hurt. It killed all the witnesses.


California lawmakers are considering a bill to let taxpayers deduct their state taxes from their federal taxes by declaring California a charity. It’s a perfect example of what drugs do to people. Just a week after legalizing marijuana, the state’s legislature is already engaged in money laundering.


North Korea reached an agreement with South Korea Tuesday which will allow North Korean athletes to participate in the Winter Olympic Games in South Korea next month. White House reaction was swift. President Trump issued a tweet saying his ski jump is longer than Kim Jung Un’s.


North Korea’s dictator Kim Jung Un addressed TV cameras last Monday to deliver his annual New Year’s Day address to the world. This man will not be caught by surprise. Kim Jung Un announced that he now has a nuclear button on his desk, one on his nightstand, and one by the toilet.


The CDC announced Tuesday it will begin holding seminars instructing people how to survive a nuclear war. There are seventy-five million Americans who could care less. Baby Boomers all demanded peace when we were in our Twenties, but what would nuclear war cost us now, five years?


Teheran street protests last week recall the 1979 revolution in Iran. That’s when mobs burned the U.S. flag, chanted Death to America, seized the U.S. Embassy and then took 52 Americans hostage for a year. Young people today can’t comprehend the extent to which some people hated disco.


Forbes published a poll which indicated that soccer is on the verge of becoming the third most popular spectator sport in the United States. It’s a sport whose time has come. Soccer allows Americans to sit in the stands and stare at their phone for three hours and not miss any of the scoring.


Argus Hamilton is the host comedian at The Comedy Store in Hollywood. E-mail him at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.