HOLLYWOOD — God bless America, and how’s everybody?
Prince Harry announced Monday that he is engaged to be married to an American TV actress named Meghan Markle. The palace reaction was predictable. The Queen said she was overjoyed, Prince Charles said he was just thrilled, and James Bond was ordered to make it look like an accident.
The National Gambling Review predicted Las Vegas sports books will take $150 million in Super Bowl bets this year. We’ll gamble on anything. And congratulations to everyone who had Matt Lauer and Garrison Keillor on your Sexual Predator Bingo cards Wednesday morning.
The London Daily Mirror quoted North Korea refugees who confirmed reports that Kim Jung Un maintains a Pleasure Squad of teenage girls. Does he watch the news at all? The U.S. will slap sanctions on him for testing ICBMs, but we send in the Marines if he’s engaged in sexual misconduct.
Meghan Markle will be the second divorcee to marry into the Royal Family. The first divorcee was American Wallis Simpson, the marriage forcing King Edward to abdicate. The royal penchant for marrying divorced American women is probably a carryover from a lifetime of using food tasters.
Matt Lauer joined Charlie Rose and Bill O’Reilly among fired TV news anchors from charges of sexual misbehavior in the workplace. It’s a tribute to Fox News, NBC and CBS for the brilliant way they dumped $100 million in salaries.
NBC fired Today Show host Matt Lauer Wednesday after a female staffer accused him of sexual misconduct in the workplace. The incident occurred three years ago at the Winter Olympic Games in Sochi. The good news is, Matt Lauer ends up bringing home the gold in the Men’s Downhill.
North Korea’s Kim Jung Un boasted of his ability to hit any part of the U.S. with his new ICBM missile he just tested. Kim Jung Un may never get over his embarrassment after he threw Dennis Rodman two state banquets thinking he was President Obama.
The U.S. Senate began debating the GOP tax cut bill Tuesday with a vote possible by today or Monday. Forty-eight Democratic senators don’t want tax cuts and 52 Republican senators don’t want Trump to get credit for getting anything done.
E-mail Argus Hamilton at Argus@ArgusHamilton.com.